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mog
Seasoned Reporter
United Kingdom
232 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 07 2008 : 13:17:40
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Monday, March 31, 2008
A married father of three faces indecency charges after allegedly having sex with a picnic table.
Art Price Jr, 40, was seen doing the dirty with the garden furniture at his home in Bellevue, Ohio, on four occasions by a neighbour.
The neighbour, who hasn't been named, says that he saw Mr Price turning the table over before performing the sex acts on it.
Police officer Matt Johnson said: 'He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.'
Just to add a touch of class to his furniture-copulation, Price reportedly carried out his naked table-boffing in broad daylight, very close to a local school.
The fourth time, the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence.
Officer Johnson commented: 'Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around.'
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At least he could have put a table cloth on the table.........
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lincs
Moderator
United Kingdom
625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2008 : 21:20:11
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| Must admit it did make me laugh trying to imagine my neighbour doing this. |
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petefergie
Senior Correspondent
United Kingdom
585 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2008 : 21:26:36
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If you look on YouTube you can get a glimpse of the table.. 
here's an old but good one...
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
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lincs
Moderator
United Kingdom
625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2008 : 14:52:35
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Had a look at it and his pic, at least he did wash the table
Liked the one about the camel.
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Edited by - lincs on Aug 12 2008 14:53:14 |
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petefergie
Senior Correspondent
United Kingdom
585 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2008 : 09:17:44
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A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "You probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Diseaz. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied: "Ed Zachary Disease is when you face look Ed Zachary like you azz." |
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Nude man charged with having sex with table
